"So...you know you're fat, right?"

I saw the blogs today - Tony, Miz and Leah's. Kind of a mess, but did spark very good conversation. I think some of the panty-twisting that went on was in defense of that entire community. But anyhooo, I did used to be fat, but I didn't let that word define me. I was too busy having swag anyway, and then eventually focusing on the healthy that ignited my weight loss. I never gave that "fat" word a chance to soak in and lower my self esteem.

I have plenty of weight to lose. I have for quite some time. But I have never had a doctor tell me I was fat or obese. Even when I was having problems with my gallbladder and liver. Those words never came out. I think people associate a stigma with it. But what we need is more people, like your doctor, who direct and guide individuals to get healthy.

I also think that a lot of times people don't realize how unhealthy they are. We think bad things will happen to other people - not to us.

EXACTLY.

When I was in high school, I got "skinny" but was not unhealthy. I suffered from anorexia/bulimia. I ate a lot of crap when I ate and hid it from my parents. My parents tried to instill healthy habits into me, but I chose to turn to eating, not eating, binging/purging and such as a way to deal with my emotins and bullying. And the whole time, I always wondered WHY no doctor said anything about my drastic weight loss or anything. So I wonder the same thing. Regardless - I am here now, and I am getting healthy and doing the research for ME and putting myself first.

Love this! In my mind, fat is what I have, but it is not what I am. And, I love that your doc is a honey badger - lucky you!

The word fat bothered me until I wasn't anymore. But "obese", well that was a cuss like no other. Now I realize they are merely qualifiers, like "I/m blonde", or "I'm smart", or "I'm a shopaholic". Once I realized this I understood these descriptors were my truth, they were me, and every descriptor can be changed if I want it bad enough. If it is true, then it shouldn't hurt, right? But no one likes their warts exposed by others, or have their issues brought to their attention when they are trying to mask them deep in some neural cavern. Been there, done that!

<3 <3 <3 this post! A friend who reads my blog just shared yours with me and I am so thrilled. I understand, and I'm glad I'm not the only one writing about this out there. Best of luck, my dear! You are not alone ... this I know.

FYI: Serbian is the primary language in Belgrade. At least that's what my aunt says and she has been living in Belgrade for almost 70 years.

But more importantly, how do we encourage people to talk more openly about weight in the context of the larger society and not people individually (which as noted in the above comments is stigmatizing)? While weight is indeed a personal issue and some people are successful maintaining a healthy weight, our society is set up that makes managing weight so challenging. Transportation (yes, including public transportation) limits how much we move any given day. Many of us have office jobs where we have to sit on our ass for 8+ hours a day. Our food system is laden with processed foods that our bodies are not adapted to digest. When the entire system is stacked against to maintaining a healthy lifestyle, then we also need to address the system, not just individuals. Just my two cents. :)

For years, I'd visit my doctor and wait for her to say something about my weight. I knew I was overweight, but didn't know what to do. I stepped on that scale at each visit, and saw that the number kept climbing higher each time. I was at least 80lbs overweight. My doctor never said a word to me about it. I wish I had. Part of me thought that if she wasn't concerned about it, I didn't need to be either. I'm glad I finally woke up and realized that I needed to get healthy.

When I started teaching, I became more self-conscious about my appearance, though. When students were whispering, I was convinced that they were talking about how horrible I looked. Students did occasionally comment on my red face (from being out of breath, or when my blood pressure was high). That was embarrassing.

Honestly, I don't know how I feel about the word "fat." No one ever called me that (to my face, anyway), and I didn't use it to describe myself. I tried to define myself by who I was, rather than how I looked. Most of the time, I succeeded.

I am so very grateful we've met.

Thank you for this post! I also am on a journey to health, and even though I'm losing weight and getting smaller, I am so thankful that I have lived my life to this point as obese. I learned hard lessons about self worth and self esteem that I think would have been more difficult lessons without the benefit of the extra fat.