#OctGTD: Wanting It

Cycling Si said "#Octgtd is not just for October, setting good goals every month can keep you motivated and help your long term goals." [His musings on the topic are here.]

I've noticed a good half of the #OctGTD participants achieved less than 50% of their goal in half of October.  I received many emails talking about not having the motivation to get to the gym or on the road to put in the miles.  I empathize with that because I've only done 43 of my 120 miles.  With 11 days to go, I'm right along with everyone else.

I've written before about my other best friend, Emily, and how she has inspired me. 
Writing about Nancy is much harder.

When my mother died, my whole world fell apart.  I fell apart. My father fell apart. My brother was in his own world.  I lost my then-best friend (I assume because it hit too close to home for her, as her mom died when she was 3 months old).  I was just plain lost.  I floundered my way through 8th grade trying to just get through all the anger and all of the sadness.

When I got to high school, I was still very lost...until Nancy found me.  I was hanging out a lot with my older brother and his friends, and she was part of that group.  I don't know how it happened, I only know what it feels like in retrospect:  she rescued me.  She protected me, she made me laugh. She made me feel connected to the world again.

Words fall so short of the gratitude and love I feel for her.  As someone who knows the depth of her love and the quality of her loyalty, I know what her pledging her love and fidelity to her future husband means. I can only hope that he returns every ounce of that love and fidelity to her. She deserves it.

So I'm going to get my butt into the gym and lay down 5 more miles and dedicate them to Nancy -- for giving me the reason to not only start the journey, but to commit to it the way I have.  Once again, when I felt like I had lost my compass, she (without even knowing it) pointed me in the right direction.

[Edit:  I figured out how I wanted to say it -- Nancy has saved my life twice-- helping me survive the death of my mother and giving me the motivation to save my own life.  For that there are not enough words of thanks.]