Digging Deep

So I've been writing lately about how my body hasn't been cooperating with me lately--last month it was my back and lately it's been my hip.  This morning, as I was running, my knee started acting up.

For a good five minutes of running I let myself feel sorry.
Then I told my knee "Not today!"
I stopped and stretched a bit more.
Then I relied on my buddhist training that reminds us not to turn away from pain, but to turn toward it, and so I thanked my knee for sending me the signals of pain, that I'd correct my form, but I was pressing on.

But my knee still hurt. I either had to stop or figure out some other mental resource to get me over the hump to the point where there would be pain, but it wouldn't be at the forefront of my focus. 

And then I remembered a friend of a friend.
Instantly I felt the pain dissipate from my consciousness. It was present, but it didn't hold me back.
The friend of a friend is a badass by all definitions.  Not only was he a Marine that saw combat in Iraq, but he is an amputee that competes in the Warrior Games.  He has his aims set higher than just about anyone I've ever met.  I thought about him not because I thought "well if he's an amputee and he can compete and run, then I should shut my trap" but because of something he said to me almost a year ago.

Now, as a Fat Girl, you're not always accustomed to sincere compliments from hot guys, so when he said to me that I was a really cool chick, I sent him an email to thank him for saying it.  His reply?  "Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise."

In that moment when my knee was crapping out on me and I doubted whether my body was capable of this, I told my knee that I am a runner, and I wasn't going to let any minor injury let me think otherwise.

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In other news, a coworker was at the gym with me this morning.  She is a very fit person -- tackling the elliptical on the highest incline and bending and flexing in ways I can't.

At one point halfway through my run, she told me "I am in awe of you."

Later she was doing plank exercises in perfect form and all I could think of was, "You're doing something I can't do and you're the one in awe of me?"

I mean, all I did was stop my elliptical, dismount, and kill a cockroach.  Just sayin...
Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses.