Evolutionarily speaking, men should be attracted to women with fat on their bodies (breasts, hips especially), as it signals to them that the woman is healthy enough to carry a child and nurse that child. However, because medicine, science, and economics play a stronger hand in the health and well-being of a child than ever before, those signals are not as important.
The result is that society often dictates to men (and women) what is attractive. Instead of health and well-being being attractive, attractiveness is mainly judged by aesthetics now. Media has been telling men what they should feel is sexy in various cycles that waiver between Flappers and burlesque, Twiggy and Tyra. I'd even go so far as to say that media, society, and peer pressure are overriding what many men feel is attractive to them. In other words, they might innately feel attracted to a curvier woman, but they don't want to be judged as unsuccessful because they can't attract a lithe model-like woman (I hope you're thinking about the movie American Psycho and the business cards...). And as anecdotal evidence -- I know so many men that prefer to have sex with a woman with "a little something extra" versus a thin girl (and again, this is purely aesthetics, nothing about personality) but they won't date the girl with junk in the trunk.
"All those times I had agents who were like, 'You have to lose some weight,' and all of a sudden, people are celebrating it," she told Health. "It's like: 'Oh, thank you! Thank you for letting me be me.'"So this post is going to act as a few things:
"I was having cappuccinos every day!" she told the magazine. "I would take my clothes off in front of the mirror and be like, 'Oh, I look like a woman.' And I felt beautiful, and I never tried to lose it, 'cause I loved it."
1. Kudos to the women who feel comfortable in the skin. Your sexiness is undeniable.
2. Kudos to those (friends, lovers, admirers, photographers, artists, etc.) who love women who are comfortable in their skin.
3. My empathy for any and all women (and men) who do not feel comfortable in their skin. I hope you find the joy of your body soon. You are beautiful just as you are.
4. And a huge FUCK YOU to anyone who tries to put me or anyone else down for loving the body they have. No matter your size, you have the abilty to love your body. Do yourself a favor and be generous to yourself.
14 comments
Sorry if this makes little sense but i need sleep.
ReplyThere has been a lot in the press about the trend reversal from size zero models to more healthy women, it is a slow but positive trend and it is great to see women who are happy in their own skin just as they are being rolemodels for younger women i hope it can stop young women (and men) from abusing their bodies chasing the size zero dream and putting their lives at risk.
Oddly it is the opposite for men the slimmer more muscular ones seem to be more attractive than most the typical hunter gatherer the provider and protector some one who is strong and confident (probably why i get looked over).
Going to add a personal comment (sorry in advance) For me personaly i find a kind heart and a good mind more attractive and yes some one who is happy and comfortable about themselves no matter what shape they are or how they look...thats why i find you attractive. (and now i feel like a wierdo)
I like those two women. When Esquire named Hendricks sexiest women of the year, there was some outrage, but why the hell would there be? She's gorgeous and sexy. Just cos she's not a size 2? C'mon, that's ridiculous.
ReplyOnce again, you are so right. I will admit, I was one of those women that couldn't stand looking at myself in the mirror. I've only lost 47lbs - not even below 200lbs yet - and I have grown to love my body a lot more. I needed the hate to look at myself in the mirror to motivate me on my journey...and even though I still have a long way to go - I have no desire to be skinny. I want curves..meat on my bones...and my fiance wouldn't want it any other way. It took me a while to realize that I didn't care what others thought of me - this is my journey, and I'm already starting to come out of my shell to love myself. Thanks for this post!!
ReplyAmen to everything! I feel exactly the same way.
ReplyI can't wait to look that hot in a size 14 body (I'm shooting for 16 truth be told).
-jafg
I've always had a super high self esteem even at my highest weight of 290. I love myself and love my body. I have had people tell me that my confidence is what attracted them to me. Those were the nice guys the other guys (which is the majority..sadly) would start a conversation with "you have such a pretty face" or "you are cute for a big girl". I hate those guys.
ReplyIt's funny even people closest to me are astonished at how I view my body. When people ask me how small I am shooting for with my weight loss I say "oh a between 12-16" the looks I get are hilarious bc to most people that is still fat! I was a size 14-16 all through high school and had a few girls call me fat. To look at those pictures now people are like "wow you were so skinny" they are shocked when I tell them I was a size 16.
I am extremely happy society is moving away from thin is the end all and be all mentality (no matter how slowly that progress moves).
Love love love love what you said here! Women are supposed to have curves! It's how we're made and we should celebrate them, not make them disappear!
ReplyI wish I COULD love me & my body, because then it would make things a lot easier. I'm working on it though. I wish I had a body like Christina's. She's got killer curves. Unfortunately, I've always been straighter (small boobs, no hips really), so my fat does nothing to enhance my shape.
ReplyFirst of all, I love you all.
ReplyI think I have the best bunch of bloggy friends.
And though i'm not going to comment to you all, I will comment to Blossom. It's my wish too that you could love your body as it is right now.
I so agree! And I can't wait to be shaking my ass in size 14's! Congratulations to you to making it there!
ReplyIt's funny -- even when I weighed 20lbs more, I still was a 14. I'm just beefy.
ReplyI loved this post :) like everyone else I have the occasional day where I don't like the way I look but almost all the time I'm just really happy with myself. Fat or not I can manage to leave the house looking GOOD!!
ReplyI'm either happy with myself or too oblivious to care.
ReplyToga! Toga!
Love this post! Kate Winslet is my favorite and Christina Hendricks is beautiful! You're are right, a lot of men judge who they like by what other people may think...so wrong.
ReplyThey should have the courage of their convictions!
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